You are now in the
front row of the future
of available jobs
for humans
that are smart
enough
to not be replaced
by comptuers
or as the tech
lords like
to say
AI
It filled me with
pride to be a part
of this new tribe
of last chance
individual
taking it in the
ear 12 hours
a day for the team
Call centers, call centers
part of the new
Canadian dream
yes they have a big
place on the rock
to talk to the
irish and give some
gift of the blaney
stone to customers
termalliy pissed
off
if you have ever
been abused by
a technical monoploy
we are the first
line
responders
you call us up
and we tell you
lies and sob
until you
have got it all out
or call for a supervisor
and this is a tale
I love to tell out
of school
the supervioser
is just another agent
a more skilled bullshitter
who will finally surrender
a few credits to your
account for being
persistance
and pissed
off
I had been really alive
several years ago
and at times in my
life I lived large
in small ways
and barges
with Mercedes
crossing rivers
in the Szuhan
I was a travelling
salesman
with a smile
on my face
and often
left with nothing
but the cock
in my hand
to consumate
the relationship
and in poll
after poll
my customers
all agreed
his hands may
be small
but his
cock is big
I was liven overseas
in Austria
the most beautiful
country
they should
just rename
it Maryling Morre
or Raquel
Welch
its that
sexy
But the call of
the wild
was always
an earworm
in my heart
and after
most of decade
I was back home
and although I never
kissed the earth
i did mark
a few spots
in joy
like a dog
welcoming you
home
like right at this
moment its the best
thing that every happened
if I was a sales manager
I would tell all my
squeezers to wipy
the eyes of the CX (customer for sharpies)
like a gorgous labrador
shaking from end to
end because
its got a dogs
brain
and when
its happy to see
you there is no
restraint
so I do this
to every customer
in an approbriate
way
thats why in an
international survey
when asked about
the salespeople
who sell them
I was voted
most likely
to be reincarnated
as a golden
retiver
I would hope
I was some
kind of
rescue dog
Home, home. home
is a fantastic place
only a klick away
from Canada's
south shore
and its been
proven
correct
we are darn
near to being
northen california
sons of anarchy rule
and all that
My home is a castle
with aluminum siding
so ERP attacks are
useless
point to me
I got a pool
and thats
a years of drinking
water if covered
by a tarp
with water ballons
keeping any kind
of bad particales
out
and the best part
the place is full
of squirrels
so there will
always be someone
at supper
saying
is that CHicken.
I went through all
kinds of self help
ran my own biz
for three years
and more
than broke even
but I am not
the person
you want
if your
bootstraps
have fallen
I would just
call for
a bootmaker
3D printing
machine
Industrial sales was
my next shot
and this was something
I did really great
at
but the travel
wore me down
and next think
you know I am
no longer traveling
town to town
on 16 hour
days
chasing every contract
like it was the
secret of life
So I died in that
universe
industrial sales
was cancer
to me
From the Giant Flying Spagetti
monster I got hired
by an Anticlimactic (data divers) firm
despite the fact
I am like Barbie
when it comes
to math
I cant add
two plus
two
but when it
comes
to reeling
in millions
of dollars
I am
fantastic
Life was good
my friends
and I never
told you
I worked at Marineland
and talked for long
sequences to the whales
but they failed to respond
not disappointing
the whale mind
may take time
to process and
come to the
correct conclusion
all the time
The best thing
about working there
aside from the usual
joy at affectate
animal husbandtry
was just how
dedicated
the team was
even the students
if you did not
polish a stainless
steel feeding
dish to a
point beyond
normal reflection
they would
take it in hand
and grind
it our
making
the giver
full of south
doubts
about the ablity
of thereselves
to have a carrer
feeding
animals
this timeline is
now confused
its Austria
Marineland
Data Diving
and then
call center
now I might
have left
out many
years inbetween
but the narrative
is accuracte
lets consider
those years
not mentioned
like Jesus
in the forest
I invented my
own ERP system
using exel macros
I ran my factory
like a NFL game
all statictics
twenty years
before any
manager had
ever heard
the word
its mathamatics
its math
idiots
if you want
to rule
the world
you only need
to be better at
math than those
that have tagged
your formula
and are near
melting down
testing formulas
and algorithms
that will
penatrea
a castle
of stone
overgrown
with ceramic
thorns
I was not
stung at this
time but
this life
ended
when I came
back to
Canada
and I got
tell you honestly
it was the best
move I ever
made
cause I was
not whole
living in Canada
its part of my
soul
and there
is no more
attractive
aftermaket
for my
affections
Company flew
me to Boston
flew me to France
and then
closed down
the local
branch
and payed
me off
with Yankee
Money
I would love
to name this
organization
but it might
start a lawyers
fued
the people
that know
and the ones
who worked
with me
know
this was
a first class
orginization
a little two
American
but I expect
they would
compete in
German
I went to a job
fair in Welland
and I got to tell
you its pretty
dismal country
and I will go
off on all kinds
of tangets
if you ask
why the Golden
triangle
is our Waterloo
cause in Welland
there are no jobs
no future
only the pain
of never having
a CHance and
only being
16\
Good News Bad News
I got a job as a telephone
operater
for a big American
Cable Company
called and I tell you
this is absolutely true
and why you never
hear about them in
the news
dispite the fact
they have a mopoly
in a big segment of the
USA
I am a man
and I never
wanted to end
up in bed
with Lola
but I was working
for a company
that would take
an injection
of cash
from every position
and screwing the customer
was the culture
that must have been
installed while
administrating a village
in Viet Nam
Working for Vagina Com
was never wet work
it was all powder dry
and closed options
for the customer
do you want to watch
or use your imagination
cause thats your
choice pilgrim
and we are
cowboys riding
the copper
trail untill
death
I was a crack
telephone operator
racking up all
kinds of scores
working six
hours a day
and getting
paid for 12
or so it seemed
the whole
experience is like
some kind of
dream
where I am
dead and get
ressurected
in a giant
hall full
of 2000
weird fucking
people
and I am the leader
of the weirdos
and thats the
truth
if the wierdos
need a king
I am it
give me
the ring
and you
will never have
to kiss butt
ever again
people
animals
sorry
no
room
So how terrible
was the job
I am working this countries social services to the bone
because I cant be trusted to answer a phone call.
Nevertheless I have 45 weeks to find my dream job.
I feel violated from the experience of working at Vagina
and if you had read my blog or even watched Blade Runner
you would know in graphic detail how I had been intellectually
sodomized.
They knowingly took my intellectual waste
and spread it over a broad population
for years with impacts that
will be the subject of discussions
for years
was Steve the butterfly effect
that killed cable
and made
everyone
swim with Upstream Color?
I do miss all the people at Vagina tell
even you because it was
like the Star Wars bar
without special effects
refugees from the economy
giving up their strenghts
to provide
a friendly face
on a corporation
that would bend
everyone
over if they
thought there
was a hidden
nickel.
Nickel I had nickel
shoved up my butt
though it was more
likely some lesser
money cause
a nickel is not
made of nickel
anymore
its more like
foam metal money
and they treasury
can still claim
it will not
chip your
tooth if
bitten
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